The John Report: Talking Smack for 11/06/09 (Batista vs. M. Hardy)

Welcome to the Talking Smack column where I offer up a quick rundown of WWE's Friday broadcast, Smackdown. I didn't do this column last week basically because I was burnt out from all the writing I did with the WWE Roster Evaluation of all three brands. If you have emailed about any of the roster evaluations I haven't replied to many of them yet, so be patient. I will get to you. I wanted to wait until I was done them all before writing back. Here are links to all three parts:

WWE Roster Evaluation 2009 Part 1: Raw - Written October 26.
WWE Roster Evaluation 2009 Part 2: Smackdown - Written October 30.
WWE Roster Evaluation 2009 Part 3: ECW, Top 25 & Final Thoughts - Written November 6.

Three big pieces of writing posted within 11 days of eachother. I'm pretty proud of it, so please check it out if you haven't done so already. I'll likely be running a feedback piece on it within the next week too. I may have one column in November that's not the Raw Deal or Talking Smack, but mostly I'll just stick to just doing the TV reviews and save the big stuff for December. They're so big I've already started writing them now.

Now, onto Smackdown.

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Taped from Providence, Rhode Island let's talk some smack…

- We start off with the guest host! Oh wait, that's the other show. We start off with the World Champion, The Undertaker. He talks about how he loves having a life that allows him to work 40 days a year and still be given the World Title. Then he says if somebody doesn't like it he'll go tell Vince on him. Okay, so he didn't really say that, but you know he'd like to. Undertaker talks his gibberish, I swear he sounds more like the Ultimate Warrior every week. He mentions Survivor Series being his event since he debuted there (in 1990) and that he's going to pwn all the newbs. Oops, that’s me putting words in his mouth again. I have three nephews that use those phrases all the time. Maybe it would work. Anyway, the best in the world aka Chris Jericho comes out to berate him. I cheered for this. He said the WWE Universe has waited ten years for this meaning that Undertaker vs. Jericho hasn't happened as a feud. I actually want to see it in a one on one setting rather than with the Big Show in the match, but I'll take it. Jericho busted out the dictionary definition of the word "phenom" and then said he was more of a phenom than Undertaker was. He called Undertaker a man, not a dead man. Oh no you didn't, girlfriend. Them's fighting words. He said he'd be the World Champ for the 6th time and nobody intimidates him, not even Undertaker. Jericho got in his face, Undertaker choked him, Jericho fought it off and then ran into an Undertaker boot before bailing outside. Great promo work by Jericho as he brought up some great points and generated some excellent heel heat while at it. Like I said before, I really was looking forward to Jericho vs. Undertaker. I'm not looking forward to Big Show being in the match too.

- They came back from break to plug Jericho's search on WWE.com for where Parts Unknown is. I guess it's a comedy thing, I have no idea. Matt Striker said he's from there. That explains a lot.

Dolph Ziggler & The Hart Dynasty d. John Morrison & Cryme Tyme (**)
It was a decent six man tag that got around ten minutes including a commercial thrown in. While I like Ziggler vs. Morrison, I like Morrison vs. Kidd more. Those two TV matches they had a couple months back were great and I really look forward to more of those two in the future. The heels worked over JTG, he hot tagged Morrison who did his shit and then they got in Shad for the final hot tag as he faced off against Smith. The two big guys went at it, then Ziggler tagged Smith's boot as he was in a compromising position, the ref saw it and Ziggler hit Shad with the Zig Zag finish that I don't usually like. In this instance I liked it because it really did come out of nowhere. It looked good.

They're doing Ziggler vs. Morrison for the IC title (again) next week in England. I think Ziggler gets the belt this time. They set it up by having him win via countout last week.

- There was a sitdown interview with Rey Mysterio next as Josh Matthews asked him about his "best friend" Batista turning on him. They said best friend a lot. Mysterio said he was smart, sexy and powerful. Oops, I'm hearing things again. He said Batista decided to throw away their friendship and the memory of Eddie Guerrero, so now we're going to see a different side of Rey Mysterio. I've liked the build to this although I wonder is the Survivor Series crowd really going to boo Batista considering he's from Washington DC where the event is being held? That's why I think they might have rushed the turn a bit.

Beth Phoenix d. Brittany Carter (1/2*)
Squash match. It's like we haven't seen Beth Phoenix for the past three years. They have to establish she's strong, I guess.

Drew McIntyre d. Jimmy Wang Yang (1/4*)
McIntyre jumped Yang to start, knocking him to the floor. He wanted better competition. I miss Kozlov's promos asking for competition. They were hilarious to me. I miss the "Double Double E" parts too. Anyway, Yang insisted the match start and about a minute later McIntyre finished him off. I didn't know Yang was still employed until I did the roster evaluation. I am a big fan of McIntyre's sit out double arm DDT finisher, by the way. It needs a name. Something better than the "Drew Drop" would be nice.

- Backstage, Batista said he'll hurt whoever he has to in order to be World Champion. He wasn't there to make friends. By the way, a jacked up 40 year old dude with a nose piercing? Not a good look. I'm sure that whatever 20 something year old chick he slept with one night convinced him it looked good, but it doesn't. I'm just saying.

Rey Mysterio d. Mike Knox (*1/2)
This was basically a chance to have Rey work against a big dude. Of course Knox has gone from somebody who had the potential to possibly be a main event level heel, to just another big dude in WWE. I still don't understand why they feel the need to job him so much. I thought he was getting over rather well. The match was pretty standard. I always love how good Rey makes people look with his bumping and that running crossbody that Knox did on the floor looked awesome. Rey hit the 619 after Knox missed a shoulderblock and got the win after the springboard splash.

R-Truth d. CM Punk (**)
The CM Punk de-push continues. Last week he beat ref Scott Armstrong. This week with Armstrong reffing his match, he lost to a guy in R-Truth that loses more than he wins. Punk was pissed off because he thought Armstrong was counting slow (he wasn't), so he told him to count faster. Then when Truth rolled him up Armstrong counted faster and Punk lost. I guess Punk's got the whiny heel gimmick now that almost never leads to good things. I'm not sure where things are headed for Punk. I doubt it's a Truth-Punk feud. It was more about Armstrong-Punk, which they already did last week.

- Backstage, my girl Mickie James-Canton was looking fine. I mean, seriously. This woman cleans up well. She ran into Michelle and Layla, who talked smack. I love when Layla talks smack. Doesn't she lose like 90% of her matches? Like it matters. At Survivor Series there's a Team Michelle vs. Team Mickie match. I guess that's different than the Team Raw vs. Team SD match we just saw. Mickie ruled for calling Layla, "Scary Spice." Do people remember the Spice Girls? Sadly, I do. Anyway, after Mickie left the heel girls remarked that they'd make Mickie's life a living hell. I'd like to make Mickie's life a living heaven.

- Hey, it's Matt Hardy about to get up by a heel because he's a babyface jobber. This is similar to when CM Punk got rid of his brother. What a career Matt has right now. When he talks tough nobody takes it seriously because in the eyes of the fans he's a loser. Get him in a real feud, please.

Matt Hardy d. Batista via DQ (**1/4)
The story was that Batista was all about hurting Matt, not necessarily winning the match. Matt kept on fighting and fighting, even hitting a Twist of Fate for a decent nearfall. I'm honestly surprised that they gave him as much offense as they did. Batista dominated him on the floor, tossing him into the barricade and into the announce table. He took one of the monitors from the announcer's desk and drilled Matt in the head with it for the DQ. The best part of the match was the finish. He rolled Matt back into the ring, teased the Batista Bomb, the crowd was excited for it and then he didn't do it. That's great. I love that. Heels need to be heels all the time. Listen to the crowd and do what you can to piss them off. I'm not sure if that was scripted or if Dave improvised (I assume it was scripted), but I loved it. The fans aren't booing Batista like a top level heel yet. I think they're getting there, though. He needs to be even more violent than he has been. I like it so far.

Three Stars of the Show
1. Matt Hardy - Worked his ass off. He's great at being the guy that loses before the big PPV matches. I just wish he got his own feud for once.
2. Jimmy Wang Yang - For still being employed. That's something, right?
3. Chris Jericho - Calling himself the Phenom = win.

Rating: 4.5 out of 10
Last week: NR

In terms of matches it was just an average show. None of the matches stood out like we tend to see on Smackdown most weeks. It felt very Raw-like in terms of the wrestling this week. I am looking forward to Morrison vs. Ziggler getting 15 minutes of in ring time next week. In terms of promos, I really liked what they did for the big feuds with Jericho and Undertaker as well as the Mysterio/Batista stuff. By the way, absolutely no sign of GM Teddy Long or any mention of the coveted Bragging Rights trophy that Smackdown won two weeks ago. They've forgotten about it as much as the fans have.

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That's it. Have a good rest of the weekend and I'll see you on Tuesday for the Raw Deal.

Smell ya later,
John Canton - oratoryjohn@gmail.com
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