The John Report: Talking Smack for 11/20/09 (Undertaker/Kane vs. Jerishow)

Welcome to the Talking Smack column where I offer up a quick rundown of WWE's Friday broadcast, Smackdown.

Before I start, I need to do some important shilling. I started up a new blog a couple of weeks ago where I'm posting exclusive content that you can only read at the blog. I'm not posting everything here at this site. It's exclusive to my blog. Here's a rundown:

Five Thoughts on TNA Impact for 11/19/09 – Lots of people email me regularly asking for some TNA thoughts. Now you'll get it. It won't be a full show rundown. It's just ten minutes or so of writing about things that stood out to me.
Mailbag for 11/21/09 – I posted it this morning. One questions asks me what I think the card will look like at WrestleMania. I'll probably change my mind a few times before now and March, but my thoughts are there.
NFL Picks for Week 11 – Obviously not wrestling related, but if you're a NFL fan you can check my thoughts there too.

You can view it all at the John Report blog located right here. It's still in the development stages, but I'm getting there.

Now, onto Smackdown.

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Taped from Philadelphia, PA let's talk some smack…

Batista d. Matt Hardy (*)
They got about four minutes. The crowd was really booing Batista, which is a nice sign. He's the baddest 40 year old grandpa with a nose piercing. Only because I don't know of anybody else that fits that label. I wonder if the Washington crowd will do the same on Sunday considering it's his home city. I thought this would be a squash, but it wasn't. Hardy got some decent offense. Never hit the Twist of Fate, though. The story was Batista hit him with three spinebusters before hitting the Batista Bomb for the win because he's showing no mercy. I like it. Face Batista bored me. Heel Batista is good so far.

- They caught up to Batista backstage, who said Rey made three mistakes by costing him the World title, signing the Hold Harmless agreement (that prevents anybody from suing Batista for hurting him) and embarrassing him last week at the contract signing.

- In Teddy Long's office, he was met by Vickie Guerrero and Eric Escobar. She wonders why he hasn't been used. Probably because he sucks in the ring? I guess they can't say that, but that's why. She says Teddy made a mistake in reuniting Kane & Taker while Teddy says it was Vince's idea. Cue Vince. He said Teddy was foolish to reunite Kane & Taker, so he's hiring Vickie as his consultant. Vickie celebrated like she won something important. It was funny, but not visually appealing. Let's just say that if my girl Mickie James-Canton jumped up and down as much as Vickie did it would have been the greatest moment in the history of wrestling. Vickie doing it? Not so much.

Drew McIntyre d. Finlay (1/2*)
They showed a video before it and had McIntyre talk. Finlay was all over him, beating on him with fists and kicks at a rapid pace. He was pounding him on the corner when the ref pulled him back. When he came back towards him, McIntyre used his whole hand to poke him in the eye and it worked. Finlay staggered back and McIntyre finished him off with his sitout double arm DDT that badly needs a name. The Scot Drop perhaps? I don't know. Just give it a name. Different kind of finish to a match, but it works for me. McIntyre continues to impress.

- CM Punk came out for promo time. In the ring was a table with three white cups that were covered up. There was also a trash can. Note that if you see a trash can in a wrestling ring it's going to be used. He said we all had to admit to having a problem. Under the first white cup? Cigarettes. Not even a name brand, it was just a brown box. Punk said we might as well throw our lungs in the garbage and tossed them into the can. The second white cup? Prescription medication. I think it's Vince's Flomax. He said take them as prescribed, but not enough people do that. Heath Ledger? Hey, I'm not trying to be mean. I miss the guy! He poured those into the can. The third white cup? Whiskey. Biggest pop of the night so far. He said that when you drink alcohol you are poisoning yourself. He poured that into the garbage can. Thanks for the lesson. Out came R-Truth. He said everybody should make their own decisions in life and that he didn't like Punk, so he gave him a DDT. He then picked up the can and dumped everything onto Punk's waist followed by a garbage can shot to the gut. Crowd loved this. I thought it was a good promo. It's a shame that the show is PG these days because they could really amp this up if it was TV14 again due to what he's talking about.

I've already got emails about it asking if I'm upset that they make the straight edge guy the heel. I think those people are missing the message. They're not saying you're wrong for smoking, taking pills or drinking booze. They're having a heel say it, which in turns tells you that the heel way of doing it (preaching to people) is wrong. Confused? It can definitely be confusing and I understand if people are getting the wrong message about it. For what it's worth, I've been known to have quite a few drinks in my life. I've never touched a cigarette or any illegal drugs. As for prescription pills I've always used them as directed. No need to abuse those kinds of things.

John Morrison d. Dolph Ziggler to retain the IC Title in a 2/3 falls match (**1/2)
I thought they would get twenty minutes here considering it was a 2/3 falls match. They got about 12 minutes. The first fall came quick with Morrison missing Starship Pain, Ziggler trying to capitalize and then falling victim to a Morrison cradle for the first fall making it 1-0 JoMo after about two minutes. They went to break and when they came back they mentioned that Ziggler was working on Morrison's ribs. He kept targeting them. Eventually he countered a Morrison rollup into a Zig Zag to make it 1-1. This is where I thought they'd got another ten minutes before the finish. I was wrong. They went about four more minutes with Morrison hitting Starship Pain for the win. Still a good match, but I was hoping for more. I'm also questioning the point of putting Ziggler in so many IC title matches since July only to have him lose every single time. I'm hoping there's some silver lining at the end of this. Maybe Maria comes back to help him cheat to win? I don't know.

Mickie James d. Layla (1/4*)
My beloved Mickie was pissed off after last week's cutting up of her clothes, so she took it to Layla quickly. Layla hit a dropkick (one of the few moves she can do, I think), but Mickie was able to fight back and win with a lovely bridging rollup. Post match, Layla told her to look at the video wall. It was Michelle McCool dressed like a farm girl calling her "Piggy James" and then there was a video with a pig that had Mickie's face on it. Then a Looney Tunes like ending saying "That's All Folks." Looney Tunes should be insulted. Mickie James-Canton left the ring in tears. I can console her any time she wants.

This was crap. I'm assuming this was insinuation by management that Mickie James is somehow fat, which is bullshit. She's about 5'5" and weighs maybe 120. So what if she's not a thin model like most women in WWE. Do they notice that she's the most consistent worker on the roster? Or does that matter anymore? If Mickie does leave WWE to pursue a country music career (she's already signed a contract) I wouldn't blame her one bit after this segment. Lame. The woman is not fat. At all. She's got a nice booty. She's got thick legs. She's an athlete. Not a model. I think she's gorgeous. Now, with that said, as an angle it was still pretty bad. Too cheesy for my tastes. Can't women insult eachother without going after a supposed weight issue? I guess not. I am looking forward to Michelle vs. Mickie, but this didn't really help.

Tyson Kidd d. Rey Mysterio via DQ (*1/4)
They got about three minutes. It was too short to be as good as it could be. Batista was guest announcing although he never said a word the entire time. Two minutes in, Rey had him set up for the 619 when Kidd bailed to the floor. Rey went up top, Batista shoved Kidd away and told Rey to jump. Ref threw the match out. Rey then jumped onto the announce table, hit the flying senton on Batista to a big pop. Batista tried to chase him, but couldn't get his hands on him. Good way of building up Rey's speed to counter Batista's power. I have liked the build for Batista vs. Mysterio.

- Jericho and Show talked backstage about the match tonight and Survivor Series. Jericho said he wasn't scared of either of them or Show. Then the lights went off. Jericho was screaming for them to come back on. It was Show that turned them off. So Jericho's a liar. He really is scared. Now we know.

- They showed the MSG video again from Monday while adding clips from Monday's show. I still wish that main event got more time.

Undertaker & Kane vs. Chris Jericho & Big Show ended in a no contest (**3/4)
Don't get mad at me if I got the match result wrong. It was confusing, so I went with what WWE.com used. The heels worked on Kane for much of the match. Once Undertaker got the tag the match took off. I really do enjoy Undertaker when he's fired up like this. I can tell he loves working with Jericho because he's a new opponent for him that knows what he's doing. The legal men for the finish were Jericho and Undertaker. Taker went for the Chokeslam, which CJ turned into the Walls, but that didn't last long. Awesome reversal, though. Undertaker had him in Hell's Gate, Show broke it up with the legdrop and they all brawled. Show went over the barricade after the brothers beat the shit out of him. They worked on Jericho a bit. Show recovered, pulled Kane out and KNOCKED HIM THE FUCK OUT~! on the floor. He went in the ring, hit the chokeslam on Undertaker and stood over Jericho. Jericho gave the Codebreaker to Show as a nice surprise. The announcers played it up that Jericho didn't know who he was attacking because he was so beat up. Jericho, the only one left standing, took the belt and ran up the ramp as the show ended with Undertaker and Show looking his way with both of them being pissed off. Good ending to the show. The belt for this triple threat is way better than the one on the Raw side.

Three Stars of the Show
1. CM Punk - Loved his promo. He's really shining in the role even though he's out of the main event picture.
2. Chris Jericho - Consistently great.
3. Mickie James-Canton - For having to deal with that shit she deserves a spot.

6 out of 10
Last week: 6.5

Good show for the most part. I was expecting more from Ziggler/Morrison considering that most of their one fall matches got more time than the 11 minutes they got here for three falls. I enjoyed the Rey/Batista interaction because it's important to build up that Rey does indeed have a shot to win. Main event was alright. It's disappointing that this match got more time than Monday's "dream" match, though. I'm not about to complain about 15 minute main events. That's what I want to see.

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That's a wrap. Remember to check out the blog here and also the Survivor Series preview that I posted on Thursday, which you can view right here. If I do catch Survivor Series on Sunday (still not sure yet if I will) I'll make a quick post on my blog about it. I'll have more to say about it in Tuesday's Raw Deal for sure, which is going to be huge considering it's a three hour show.

Thanks for reading.

John Canton - oratoryjohn@gmail.com
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