The John Report: The Raw Deal for 01/04/10 (Bret Hart)
Welcome to the Raw Deal. You know what? Forget about the intro. I can do things like plug the petition a reader created later. See what I did there? Let's get to Raw with Bret Hart.

(NOTE: If you read this in the AM and were looking for commentfest it wasn't here. Now the link to it is here posted as of 12pmET Tuesday.)

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Live from Dayton, Ohio this is the Raw Deal…

They start with a video package on Bret Hart and then he got introduced. I was watching the show with two of my best friends from our late teens when we watched Bret all the time. We took road trips together to see WWF shows. I remember one time we saw three shows in three nights (two of them were Raw's back when Raw was taped on back to back nights prior to Smackdown) and those were some great times. It was cool to watch again with them (they don't watch much anymore) and relive some of those memories.

This week's guest host: Bret Hart
I thought Dayton him gave him a very good ovation. It's not as loud as it would have been in Canada obviously, or a big WWE city like New York or Chicago, but it was pretty good. He looked pretty composed out there, not really nervous and like it felt great for him to be out there. I was happy to have seen that moment. We were basically applauding him at that point and he wasn't doing anything. Just BEING THERE was enough, ya know? It meant so much to us as fans to see him out there. "Well, I guess hell froze over." Haha, absolutely. He thanked the fans for remembering him over the years, never letting him become forgotten. He actually wrote about that in his book quite a bit about how one of the worst things from Montreal was his fear that fans wouldn't remember him. We don’t forget. He's one of the most beloved legends ever and this appearance only added to that. He then brought out Shawn Michaels.

This was an epic moment. One of those "I can't believe this is really happening" type of deals. We were going nuts wondering what was going to be said by each guy. Even the face to face was cool. They each talked about time having passed with Shawn mentioning that he doesn't think of Montreal with Bret, he thinks about their "Iron" match. He said Iron twice when it should have been Ironman, but you think I'm going to make fun of HBK ever? No. This all led to a handshake and then a hug. I was literally cheering this like I was some 12-year-old kid watching my two heroes because I was that kid a decade and a half ago. They teased Shawn starting at him, possibly ready to unleash a superkick, but it never happened. When Shawn left Bret called out Vince. He didn't come out. Fifteen minutes later the intro was over. I was fine with it all. In my fantasy booking for this last week, I had Bret in the open for 15 too with some similar aspects in that he got to be alone for about 5 minutes. This 15 minute opening was something I'll remember for a long time. I won't be forgetting about it in the 2010 Johnny Awards either.

Backstage, Josh asked Crazy Vince where he was. "I was watching TNA," Vince said. "All my former employees are there!" Okay, he didn't say that. He said he was in a meeting. I'm sure he was fascinated from watching TNA talk about how they're a wrestling show and only had about 8 minutes of wrestling in the first hour. He probably thought he was watching most week's of Raw.

Did you know John C. has never torn a quad writing a John Report? (True and I once wrote a column with a broken freakin’ neck!)

Melina's out for at least six months with a torn ACL. I'll miss her although WWE took away the sex appeal she used to have, which is something I've been complaining about for a while. Guess I'll have no complaints for six months.

Maryse d. Bella Bella w/Bella Bella (1/4*)
Do the first names matter? No. It's amazing that they can do something other than laugh at the guest hosts bad jokes. In the worst twin switch ever, they switched while the other one was down in the ring, Maryse kicked her and finished with her French Kiss DDT thing. They switched spots so she could get kicked in the ribs! Those Bellas are so smart (nope), sexy (sure) and powerful (nope). That's a 33% for you Bellas. The quarter star is awarded only for Maryse's pin, for the record. Also, why do they say Maryse took a break or whatever the hell they say? She was rehabbing her knee. Can't they say when somebody has a legit injury?

Side note: After reading about the Melina injury, I posted on Twitter pre-Raw about the tourney and how it's a shame Mickie can't be there since she's on SD. My beloved Mickie James-Canton posted in reply (she follows me, I didn't even send it to her): "Says who?!?!" And then? No MJC on Raw. I was bamboozled (that's this week's fun word that you should say out loud to cheer yourself up). This is the first time there's been a problem in the James-Canton alliance. Don't cry. We'll persevere.

Before the next match, Miz hit on Maryse (his girlfriend by the way) saying maybe if she won the Divas title he'd ask her out again. It was a good promo by him talking about how great he's going to be in the next decade.

MVP d. Mark Henry, Jack Swagger & Carlito (1/2*)
Miz was on commentary. This is the US title division? Ouch. They barely use any of these guys and when they do they lose matches. At one point Henry had Swagger on his shoulders in one of the worst looking torture racks ever because he was barely holding him and they had to wait way too long for MVP to kick Henry in the face to break it up. Henry kept looking for it, waiting, waiting and when it came it was far too late. Then Swagger botched MVP's finish. MVP gets a title match at some point. Next week? I have no idea.

Did you know that John Canton has had more fictional wives than real ones? (This is true. I think it’s at 8-0 right now.)

Backstage, Jericho was talking to Show about how important tonight was for them. Chris said he was going to talk to Bret.

Backstage, Bret pretended to talk to some random dude when Jericho came in. It was the usual spiel with Jericho sucking up to him, talking about how close he was to the family when he was training there. He asked Bret if he could ref the DX/Jericho show match and for Bret to screw Shawn as revenge for Montreal. Bret said no, then added that they always thought Jericho was a wimp for screaming louder than anybody else in the Dungeon. Crowd popped at that. This was vintage Jericho getting owned by the guest host. I'll miss it.

DX skit time. They were basically plugging the new WWE action figures. Remember the thumb wrestlers in the 80s? I had all of those. Great line by HBK who walked in on HHH talking to Horny and asked him why he talks to him like a small child. Shawn: "He's got a beard!" Classic. Santino walked in dressed as Jericho to show Shawn how Hunter has trained Horny to attack Jericho on site. Did I just type that? Anyway, Santino was great in screwing up Jericho's catchphrases, then the midget pounced on him and Santino took some fall gags to make it funny. Average segment.

Did You Know? MVP, Dolph Ziggler, Shelton Benjamin and Christian all asked Santa for directions to the gym Triple H trains at.

DX d. Jerishow to retain the Tag Titles (***)
This was a typical good match from these four veterans that know what they're doing. In a rare move, Hunter was the babyface in peril for the majority of the match while Shawn was on the one that got the hot tag. I feel like pointing out that Jericho doing the Hogan ear cup during the match was tremendous. I laughed at that one. See, it's the little things that make somebody like Jericho better than almost everybody else. As expected, the match broke down and Jericho kicked the midget in the head. No SERIOUS VOICES~! from the announcers because he was wearing a helmet. Jericho had the Walls on HHH (no torn quad!), so Michaels superkicked him and Hunter pinned for the win. Then Jericho did the walk of shame out of Raw forever…just like a month ago.

Backstage, Orton knocked on Vince's door. Vince was pissed. He actually referenced the fact that Orton kicked him and his family in the head. Orton wanted to attack Bret in return for #30 in the Rumble, but the old guy said no. Orton was pissed. He then went up to Legacy who told him they'll watch his match later in the night and if he loses he's out of Legacy (same as Orton did to them last week).

Did you know Kamala and John Canton both do the belly slap as a form of intimidation?

Sheamus d. Evan Bourne (1/2*)
They didn't say why Cena wasn't there (he was at the Fiesta Bowl in Arizona), but they tried to cover it by showing Sheamus KTFOing him last week. Sheamus spoke about not defending against Cena again when Bourne came out and challenged. Sheamus said if Bourne wins he gets a title shot at the Rumble. Bourne started on fire, even hitting the Air Bourne SSP. Sheamus finished him off with his badly needs a name Razor's Edge.

They mentioned the death of former wrestler "Dr. Death" Steve Williams who succumbed to cancer. A lot of people emailed me about this asking why him and not Umaga? I think it's because was a more recent superstar and I guess they thought it would hurt Linda McMahon's campaign. I think Umaga should have been acknowledged. I liked how WWE handled this.

Randy Orton d. Kofi Kingston (**)
I was expecting something like 12-15 minutes. It came in at 11, which is fine. Problem was they didn't have the crowd's interest for much of it and there was never a point where I thought Kingston was going to win. I had really high hopes that weren't really met. It seemed like a feud that should have delivered three or four matches at the four star level yet they never got there. With Orton winning clean again it's pretty much over. One other thing: Michael Cole, you stupid douchenozzle. When the guy is standing right of him and he staggers forward, Orton hitting the RKO is not doing it "out of nowhere." Out of nowhere would mean the guy turns around and walks right into it. If he's facing him it's not out of nowhere. It's from RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE. I don't know why that bugs me, but it does.

Did You Know? This year’s Wrestlemania will have a Shitty Gimmick Battle Royal instead of a Divas Battle Royal. Already confirmed participants include: Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz, Shockmaster, Red Rooster, Mordecai, Juicer, Fake Razor, Fake Diesel, Fake Kane, Kizarny, Big Dick Johnson, The Ding-Dongs, Blacktop Bully, The Mean Street Posse, The Yetti, Giant Gonzales and Mr. America. (I give it five stars already.)

Main Event Vince and Bret Confrontation
Vince McMahon comes out. He didn't feel he needed to call Bret out, but Bret came out on his own without theme music. He took off his jacket. First time I've ever seen Bret with a gut. He should have left the jacket on. I've read he's had a bad back and hasn't been able to work out like he wants to. Give him a break, though. Been ten years since he wrestled and he's had a stroke since then. I think he's pretty inspirational, personally. They shared some memories with Vince talking about WM2 where he says he noticed Bret would be a star in that match. He also said they'd induct Bret's dad Stu into the WWE Hall of Fame this year. Vince then thanked him for being "the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be…except for HHH." Fine, he didn't say the Hunter part. He thought it, though. They shook hands. They did a pose to all four corners and then Vince kicked him in the stomach (maybe the groin?). Bret went down to end the show. Vince walked out not saying a word the announcers shut up to let the images do the talking.

Three Stars of the Show
1. Bret Hart
2. Shawn Michaels
3. Chris Jericho - For doing the Hogan ear cup.

Rating: 6.5 (out of 10)
Last week: 4.5

Did it live up to the hype? Yes and no. The Bret/Shawn stuff was pretty special to me. As a huge fan of both guys, that was pretty surreal to watch. I mean I've got 20 years of memories of both guys. I've read their books. I've watched the DVDs. I've watched hundred of matches, many of them more than once. The one thing that always made you wonder was Montreal. Could they leave that in the past? Could they talk to eachother again? You never knew. I'm glad they aired it out on live TV like I'm sure they did in private too.

Match wise it was fine with Orton/Kingston being okay while DX/Jerishow was solid like usual. This show had more actual in-ring action than the last few Raw's, so that's a good thing. Is it too much to ask for two matches getting more than ten minutes every week? I don't think it's difficult.

I'm glad this show happened for Bret Hart's sake. It was great seeing him get that pop and speak from his heart. I'll never forget that. I look forward to seeing him again on the Road to WrestleMania too.

To close out this part, here's a first hand account of the post-show from Raw:
In quite possibly the greatest single display of respect I have ever witnessed, Bret "Hitman" Hart took the time to personally shake the hand, take a picture with and otherwise interact with all the fans at ringside. With most of the locker room observing from the stage, Bret was given a much deserved and long awaited standing ovation. With the Hart Dynasty in tow, and hands raised in the air, Bret returned to the back. God bless his unparalleled show of professionalism and respect for the business he loves, and the fans who love him. Bret "Hitman" Hart. Truly the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. Goodnight from Dayton

Andy Savieo

I agree. Thanks Andy. Should be noted too that before the show Bryan Danielson beat Chavo Guerrero. I'm so happy to read that. They need Danielson on TV soon. What a great worker.

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Thoughts from the Facebook friends aka CommentFest
It's long. Over 1600 comments. Most ever. I dedicate a separate post to it on my blog. It's good for some laughs, I promise. I felt especially sarcastic this week. Check it out RIGHT HERE! Why all caps? So you wouldn't miss it. I'm friendly like that.

I would be honored if you checked out the the petition created by a friend CJ Duncan to get me hired by WWE. I'm not taking it that seriously, but I guess if we got a significant number of signatures maybe I would take it a bit more seriously. Let's just say if the opportunity ever presented itself I would love to work for WWE. I don't think it'll ever happen, but you never know, right?

As always, check out my blog at johnreport.wordpress.com for updated daily content. If you need a laugh, check out the Did You Know? John Report edition I posted up on Sunday with some WWE style Did You Know's that were suggested by friends on facebook and twitter. It's good stuff.

I'll be back either really late Tuesday or early Wednesday with a recap of Impact. I've already seen the great Angle/Styles match after being told that it was great (it was, I have it at ****1/4 out of 5). I need to watch the rest on Tuesday.

Thanks for reading.

John Canton-James (I told her I'd do it!) - oratoryjohn@gmail.com
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