Hey guys. This is your ECW Reporter, The Master and Ruler of The World (be the first to e-mail me the wrestler who used to say to say this and get a shout out next week) xpacnumber1fan. Let's get it crackalacking my friends.

We see an "In Memory of Mike Awesome" with a matching picture before we start. We start out with a replay of what happened at No Way Out with Mr. Kennedy and Bobby Lashley. We are informed that tonight Mr. Kennedy will be fighting Bobby Lashley and Hardcore Holly in a Triple Threat match for the ECW title tonight.

Intro.

We are also informed that tonight Kennedy won't be the only guest, as tonight CM Punk will face Johnny Nitro (along with new Women's Champion Melina) in a Money In The Bank Ladder Match Qualifying Match. The New Breed coming out to the ring, being led by Elijah Burke. Burke starts talking about stuff. Then Matt Stryker start talking about stuff. He says that they will teach the Originals another lesson. That any one member of the New Breed can beat any one member of the Originals. So tonight, they pick Kevin Thorn.

The ECW theme music hits and the Originals come out. They start talking amongst themselves to choose who is gonna face Thorn. Sandman says that he wants him but Dreamer says they are gonna go with Rob. Sandman bashes himself in the head with a beer. Bell rings. So we have…

New Breed vs. Originals
Rob Van Dam vs. Kevin Thorn
VD does his little *double thumb point to myself* thing but Thorn cuts him off with a knee to the gut before he gets to the Van Dam part. He punches him back to the corner and then sends him to the other. He charges but VD catches him with a back elbow. VD then catches him with a body scissors and gets a 2 count. He gets up quick and Thorn backs off into the corner. VD with a smile on his face. He then goes up to Thorn's face and does the *double thumb point to myself* thing again but Thorn cuts him off again with a kick to the gut before he gets to the Van Dam part. Doesn't he ever learn? Irish whip, back elbow by Thorn. Punches, sends him to the corner and stomps him. Beat down on Van Dam. Irish whip, VD reverses a back body drop, catches Thorn's attempt to kick him in the gut, spins him around, and catches him with a nice kick to the head. Thorn backs up into the ropes and VD clotheslines him over. The New Breed gather around Thorn as VD finally gets to pull of the *double thumb point to myself* schtick. He then charges and hits a slingshot to the outside on top of Thorn. He rolls Thorn back into the ring, and with the ref's back turned, the New Breed start to attack VD. Then the Originals come in and they start a melee. Cameramen are knocked over. Ariel is on top of the announcer table on all fours. [Borat]NICE![/Borat] Break.

Back. We come back with Thorn beating down VD. During the break all of the people on the outside of the ring were ejected (except Ariel). Which was a mistake because they show us in a "During the break" segment that she interfered knocking VD off the top rope. Then Thorn hit the Dark Kiss but VD rolled to the outside. Then we got to the beginning of this paragraph. Irish whip by Thorn but VD hits a spin kick. VD with some punches, kicks, and clotheslines. Rolling Thunder. 2 count. VD with a kick to Thorn's face. VD goes up top and hits a kick to Thorn's face. Up on another corner and VD hits a crossbody block. 2 count. They both get up at the same time and Thorn quickly grabs VD with a Samoan Drop. Thorn goes for a Razor's Edge but VD reverses with a roll up. They get up and Robbie V. hits a windmill kick. ***** Frog Splash and this is it.
Winner: Rob "Sweaty Ass Crack" Van Dam

We see a promo for the Money In The Bank Ladder Match Qualifying Match later. We then see a Snitsky vignette. Commercial.

We come back with Sazz talking about the MITB, and how the last two winners have gone on to win the title. Edge has already qualified. CM Punk now comes out. After him is Johnny Nitro (accompanied by the Women's Champion Melina). DO NOT ask me what she is wearing. My name is not Kendra. Bell rings.

M.I.T.B.L.M.Q.M.
Johnny Nitro (with Melina) vs. CM Punk
It is at this point in which I don't really feel like elaborating a whole lot on the match so I'll give you the important parts. They wrestle around in the beginning, back and forth. They go through their spots (like Punk's knees to the face and to the corner, Nitro's break dance leg drop, etc). Pretty cool spot in which Punk was gonna go for his springboard bulldog but Melina distracted him. Nitro took advantage while Punk was still on the apron and clocked him. Punk tried to hit a shoulder block to the midsection from in between the second and top rope but Nitro stopped him with a knee. Nitro left him there in that position but turned him around, so Punk was laying down hanging on the second rope looking up. Nitro with a European Uppercut, then hits a Johnny of the Spirit Squad-like Johnny-Go-Round spin kick. It hit Punk flush in the chest, looked awesome. Then Nitro went up to the top rope to try and hit a full twisting moonsault, but Punk moved. Punk then held Nitro in a fireman's carry position, pushed him up, and brought up his knee on Nitro's face as he came down. Nice move, and damn good match. Punk wins.
Winner: CM Punk

Punk shall be moving on to the MITB at Wrestlemania. We cut to an interview in the back. Rebecca introduces Mr. Kennedy. He says it isn't fair that he is in a triple threat match. Holly then comes out and says that life isn't fair. He says that ECW is his turf and he'll be damned if he lets Kennedy come in here and take the ECW title. Break.

Back. Rene Dupree's music hits. And wait, a surprise. Sylvan is with him. Styles says that this is the debut of La Resistance. THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER! TAG TEAM WRESTLING ON ECW AT LAST!!! They will be facing Los Luchas. As they come out a neat little backstage interview with them pops up in a little box on the screen. Bell rings.

La Resistance vs. Los Luchas
La Resistance start out quick ambushing both of these little Mexican guys. Sylvan with an irish whip to the corner and a hard spinebuster to one of the little Mexican guys. Rene Dupree then chucks out over the top rope the other little Mexican guy (whose name we are told is Victor Camille). Camille takes a NASTY looking flat back bump on the mats outside. Then Will Flores (the other one) is held by Sylvan in a backbody drop position while Dupree hits a neckbreaker on him. Sylvan turns while they are coming down in almost a uranage-like position. It looks likes this is their finisher because the match is done. From bell to bell, it lasted all of 31 seconds. I timed it.
Winner: La Resistance

They show a replay of the bump to the outside. It really did look sick. He WILL be sore in the morning. As La Resistance go up the aisle, Snitsky comes running down and takes off the head of both members of Los Luchas with a big boot to the head. That man is oogly.

They show part 3 of the Bobby Lashley "This Is My Life" segment. Man, his sister speaks JUST like him. No idea his parents were from Panama. Commercial.

We come back to Extreme Expose. You know, in which Brooke does that little booty vibrate thing and Kelly does a back handspring. But actually, this week they changed it up a bit. Kelly does TWO back handsprings. They still can't dance with any sort of coordination though. And in what has to be called a disappointment, they actually DON'T get interrupted this week. Blah.

Sazz then talk about the next induction into the WWE Hall of Fame, Mr. Perfect. Man, that's awesome. Mr. Perfect really kicks ass. I just remembered how much I missed his segments.

Hardcore Holly comes out. Mr. Kennedy is next. Can Bobby Lashley survive these two challengers? We'll find out next…

…and we're back. Bobby Lashley now comes out. He has both his regular pyro and the Lesnar pyro. Bell rings.

Triple Threat Extreme Rules ECW Title Match
Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Mr. Kennedy
Now I really can't be arsed to PBP this whole thing. Nothing important happened. Trust me. But I will give props to the fact that they didn't follow the standard "one guy is hit out of the ring for two minutes while the other two fight" formula. It was a true triple threat, the action always moving around. It was mostly a two-on-one thing but it was still pretty good. Ending comes when Holly goes out for a chair. He slides it into the ring next to a Bobby Lashley that's lying down on the mat. Lashley sees the chair, and holds it trying to get up and Holly kicks him in the face with it. Love that move. Styles screams "HE SET LASHLEY UP!" Holly hits an Alabama Slam but Kennedy pulls the ref out of the ring. Kennedy comes up on the apron and Holly slingshots him inside. Kennedy then hits a BLATANT low blow. The good kind. He then picks up the chair and swings for Lashley but hits Holly instead. The look Kennedy does is priceless. Like "Hmm, too bad". He then turns around right into a running powerslam though and it's over.
Winner: Bobby Lashley

We end the show with Lashley celebrating. Fade to black.

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This is your M.A.R.O.T.W., asking you not to break a leg (a little clue). xpacnumber1fan signing out.