SmackDown opens with the announcement that tonight's main event will be Batista & Undertaker vs Khali & Mark Henry. Batista starts the show recapping his career that is highlighted by defeating the Undertaker at Cyber Sunday. His speech to the audience is a preview for the upcoming main event. Batista wonders if the Undertaker will "have his back" during the tag match. The Undertaker appears - and it's clear there is no love lost, but he says he will have Batista's back in the tag match, but he still wants a rematch. Batista agrees and then Undertaker announces it will be "Hell in a Cell."
Before any action happens we go to the recurring SmackDown "Vickie and Noble" segment. Vickie say she has no time for Jamie Noble because she still has to finalize the Batista-Undertaker "Hell in a Cell" match. Don't ask me why. It's not happening for at least a week and she hasn't even finished organizing tonight's show. After some mundane talk, she announces that Noble will be facing Rey Mysterio. He's thrilled and it's finally a decent match for him. Instead of taking on the biggest men on SmackDown, he's facing equal competition.
Domino vs Festus
Festus, he of the "stooge until the bell rings and then I become a fighting machine" wins this match against Domino. Although for the first time, a Festus opponent gets a great deal of offense and Domino really gives him a run for his money. Some interference by Deuce almost upsets the match when Festus gets the upper hand, but it's a clean win for Festus.
Winner: Festus
Eve is announced as the Diva Search winner before the start of the next match.
Rey Mysterio vs Jamie Noble
Finlay made his way to the announcer table prior to the start of the match. Mysterio's talents are known to all but this match clearly showcased the equal talents of Jamie Noble. Great cruiserweight action that was, in many parts, dominated by Jamie Noble. Mysterio got his 619 in - as he does in every match - but he was unable to capitalize on it and it was a surprise twist ending with Noble countering with an attempted spinebuster and Mysterio re-countering with a front flip into a rollup pin for the win.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Post-match, Finlay reminds Mysterio that he's a quitter. We'll be seeing more of them together, I guess.
MVP and Hardy (whose face is really in bad shape with the stitches across his eye and a shiner) discuss their new brotherhood. Hardy wishes MVP good luck in his upcoming match against Kane. MVP isn't even aware he's wrestling Kane, nor that it's next. And yet, Vickie Guerrero is more concerned with "Hell in a Cell" rather than tonight's wrestlers knowing their card.
MVP vs Kane
Kane's matches have taken a complete about-face lately, with his opponents getting a lot of offense against him. And tonight's match with MVP is no exception. MVP shows his mettle by keeping Kane occupied for a large portion of the match. Kane makes his presence known, however, toward the end and as it looks like he's beating down MVP, Big Daddy V makes an entrance toward the ring. Fatter and more unpleasant looking than ever - he watches as Kane finishes MVP off, then enters the ring and takes Kane down. V's manager, Matt Stryker, motions that V's work is done and they exit to a chorus of well-deserved jeers.
Winner: Kane
We return from a commercial break to find Jonathan Coachman in the ring with Mick Foley and Hornswoggle. I guess it's a match, but with no introductions, it's difficult to determine. It appears that Hornswoggle is acting as the ref, but since he also takes part in the action, it's anyone's guess what is going on. There are no rules in the WWE. In any case, it's two against one as Foley works Coachman over, letting Hornswoggle get a few hits in now and then. Foley does his "Mr Socko" schtick and Hornswoggle makes a frogsplash off the top ropes and Foley covers Coachman for the pin.
Advertisement for next week's RAW to feature the one-time return of DX. We also find out that ECW's CM Punk will be coming to SmackDown next week.
Kenny Dykstra vs Chuck Palumbo
Palumbo has Michelle McCool in tow and Dykstra has Victoria. It seems that Palumbo wrestles Dykstra when Masters isn't available - and the two of them share Victoria. In any case, it's the same match we've seen before. Same ending.
Winner: Chuck Palumbo
Plug for the Rey Mysterio DVD.
Batista & Undertaker vs Khali & Mark Henry
Backstage, Khali and Mark Henry vow that their teamwork will conquer the divided team of Batista and Undertaker. They turn out to be wrong as Batista and Undertaker work the match as a legitimate tag until JBL interrupts it all - furious that he wasn't chosen to be the referee during Cyber Sunday. He enters the ring as Batista is about to Batista-Bomb Mark Henry. He clotheslines Batista and as Undertaker is about to chokeslam him, JBL low-blows him. Khali gets the Vice Grip on Undertaker and Henry bearhugs Batista - both going out.
Winner: No contest - DQ for Khali & Mark Henry
Show ends with JBL ranting and raving.
What was it all about this week?
No idea. It's a mish-mash of the same matches and same gimmicks over and over. I'm not even sure the addition of the ECW talent can save it. The Festus "bell ringing" gimmick is getting old - that worked for one, maybe two weeks. Vickie Guerrero as General Manager is a joke unless the scriptwriters are going to stop showing contempt for the fans and make the backstage action believable. Vickie devoting time to an upcoming card when MVP doesn't even know he's wrestling on the current show? I'm just looking for some common sense in the program. Hornswoggle, Coach and Foley? Moving on. And as for Palumbo - instead of him they should put his two weekly opponents in a series of matches - Masters and Dykstra would be a really entertaining concept. The only good thing about the show was the announcement of the one-time return of DX to RAW next week. Now I know so I can avoid it.
